Shrimp whiskers are our future

Four days into the UEFA football's Euro 2012 and something like 1.8 million Thais haven't been able to watch a single match at home.

Presumably these subscribers to TrueVisions, the country's biggest cable-TV operator, are finding other places to keep up with the scoring, but it's got to be frustrating.

What happened, in case you've been ignoring the calamity, is that GMM Grammy won the exclusive rights to broadcast the feed from Europe - which it's doing on the free channels in return for shared revenues - while TrueVisions failed in last-minute talks to secure some of the action.

Despite reassurances to the contrary, True's subscribers suddenly had to plop down Bt1,590 for a GMM-Z router for their TV sets that could pull in the games - or else become a regular at a nice bar someplace where everybody knows their name.

Many, though, opted for the third option, gaining access to the matches by installing a shrimp's moustache. Nuad goong are the old-fashioned, strictly low-tech antennas. Having these mementoes from the 1950s perched near your wide-screen wall TV with the crystal-clear LED imagery and HD signal must be hilarious.

Collectors of vintage electrical apparatuses suddenly found themselves in demand when the enforced nostalgia boom required young people to seek out their elders' wisdom about how the hell you might otherwise receive (or improve) the signal. Hair clips, clothes hangers and various bits of stationery are among the folksy suggestions for doing so.

Meanwhile one genius discovered that his old Nokia charger could double as an antenna - take a look at "6aJcK_DTk1U" on YouTube, as 78,000 people already have.

One of the viewers commented, "Scarcity instigates innovation." In such dire circumstances as missing out on the football, creativity blossoms. At this rate, Thailand will be a developed country in no time.