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Listening . . . The Orphan Child of Communications

When I was a young man I remember my father (and some of my teachers) saying, "You had better listen, young man!" I thought I was. But apparently not well enough to suit them.



Listening . . . The Orphan Child of Communications

I don't remember anyone ever sitting me down and actually teaching me how to listen, just threatening me with what would happen if I didn't. I don't remember any listening classes in school.

Years later I developed what I called the LADDER approach to teach people how to improve their listening skills.

Look at the other person. Eye contact shows the other person you care about what they are saying and also increases the human connection, so important for communications.

Ask questions showing interest. Open-ended questions, ones requiring more than a simple yes or no answer are the best way to get more information. We learn by asking questions and listening to the answers.

Don't change the subject. Wait until the other person has finished and his or her subject has been given fair consideration before introducing a different one.

Don't interrupt. It is just as rude to step on another person's ideas as it is to step on their toes! Also, do not try and finish another's sentence with your own words. More often than not, you will not succeed any better than them in explaining their ideas.

Eliminate distractions. Turn off the mobile phone. Block incoming calls. Close the door. Go somewhere private.

Respond often. This can be verbal or non-verbal, i.e., nodding the head or leaning forward towards the other person.

This is the LADDER approach. It is simple but it works. Like any other skill, it takes practice before you become a really great listener but the pay-off is even greater. Adopt the 'orphan child of communications' and you will become a better communicator.

By Dr Bill Gould

Human resources director

Wall Street Institute, Thailand

www.wallstreet.in.th



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