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Published on February 10, 2008

This is a dangerous road with entirely the wrong driver". Mangled metaphors aside, he has a point. But then, we are the choices we make. Or rather, in great swathes of this country, the choices we are told to make, plus 10 bucks and a free T-shirt for being so amenable.

The new government has only been in office 10 minutes, yet already eyebrows have been raised. By July the entire country will no doubt be wearing a permanently startled look. To say some of the nominees in the new line-up are on the fringes of competence would be to exaggerate their closeness to it. The old guard still comes with massive attitude, but seems curiously eager for reassurance. They call themselves warriors yet bruise so easily. Desperate family members, startled by the limelight though well drilled to the potential opportunities, are pleading with the cynics to give them a chance to prove themselves in office.

"But I am not a nominee, I'm a relative! What's more, my post-doctorate degree in Fortune Telling and Short-Hand Typing from the Smithsonian Polytechnic of Kalgoolie in West Australia will ably demonstrate that I am eminently capable of being told exactly what to do by my husband, I mean the prime minister."

Meanwhile, Finance Minister Surapong Suebwonglee, who claimed yesterday that "'Mr Thaksin's return is a private matter and has nothing to do with politics" is like saying disco dancing has nothing to do with sex. No doubt we'll soon be seeing posters with slogans like "Come Home Soon Thaksin. We'll keep an AEC [Assets Examination Committee] member burning in the window for you ..."'

Good luck to the Democrat shadow cabinet, although one feels they will be reduced to standing at the side of the stage, impotently rattling a tambourine. After all, despite ample opportunities to seize the day, the Democrats only appear to produce a vote-winning platform every time Haley's Comet comes over.

Never mind, history is littered with the mistakes made by the great and good. Frederick the Great confused North and South America, King George III mistook the Mississippi for the Ganges.

UUU

Each nation is unique and has to draw on its own circumstances and experiences. Many are still riddled with entrenched family privileges, and such a system is not easy to reform: too many important people profit from it. Some deplore what others admire, which leads us nicely to Article 265, paragraph one of the 2007 Constitution, which prohibits MPs and senators from holding positions in government agencies, state offices, state enterprises, local assemblies, local administrative offices and the local civil service. The new government now wants this Article "interpreted". What is there about this Article that is difficult to understand or even open to interpretation?

Critics have been quick to point out that the whole idea of appointing assistant ministers is simply to deal with the demand for Cabinet seats, which far outstrip the number of those who were expecting one - or at least hoping for a nibble of influence. As Abe Lincoln, the best president in US history had it when he tried to form his own government having made too many promises to put a gaggle of backers in office:

"There are too many pigs for the teats."

UUU

Quote of the week:

"The biggest problem with Chinese snow is you are hungry two hours later" Peter, Gloucester, VA USA Times Online.

UUU

 Letter to The Times:

Sir, Nature tells us that a cat always lands on its feet. Sod's Law tells us toast always lands buttered side down. Therefore, surely, if one ties a slice of toast to a cat's back, buttered side up, then drops said cat from a low table it will not land but will instead stay suspended, spinning in mid-air, creating perpetual motion. Of course, many erstwhile inventors fall at the initial hurdle - "First tie the toast to the cat..."

Gavin Dobson, Crumlin, Co Antrim

UUU

The first Tour de France was held in 1903. Sixty-one riders started and 21 shattered survivors were welcomed back to Paris by 100,000 people. On the 1910 tour, a teacher from Chartres was the first man to cycle over the mighty Col du Tourmalet (2,115 metres). Approaching the summit covered in sweat and dust, and with his heart about to explode, he shouted at the plump organisers and their well-dressed wives: "Assassins!"

UUU

In "Occupational Hazards", Rory Stewart's brilliant account of his time as a deputy governate coordinator in Maysan province just north of Basra, Iraq, he recalls a kidnapping case of a British "businessman". Following a week of frantic phone calls to local sheikhs and political leaders, the guy is finally dumped in a car park: dazed, red-eyed, stinking. After a couple of beers, he began to talk about his captivity.

"They ripped my blindfold off. One put his weapon to my head and said he would kill me. I remember feeling in my pockets - you know, for the junk you carry - as a bit of comfort, a sort of lucky charm. The man cocked his weapon ... you hear that sound at a much deeper level than any other ... I gave him my satellite telephone, and he called home. His first words were, 'Hello, did West Ham win?'"

Compiled by Roger Beaumont

The Nation