Size does matter - sometimes

I've had male friends for as long as I can remember and growing up, I only ever attended dual-gender schools. Most of my best friends are men and I've worked in a male-dominated industry my entire career.

I know men. I know they are confused and don't really know what they want in a girl, especially Thai men. And I have good reasons for claiming that you Thai guys are more confused than others of your species.

Since being offered a job as a photographer for a newspaper in the US, I've mainly worked and hung out with men. My colleagues are male, as is my boss and his bosses.

I cover sporting events, including football and baseball, so those who I photograph are men. Surprisingly, they aren't as confused as those who live in Thailand when it comes to girls and relationships. I'll tell you why.

Thai guys believe in collar bones, tiny waists and flat hips. These walking skeletons are the women they like to date, introduce to their buddies and to their folks.

These skinny mannequins are their idea of beauty. Why else would girls starve themselves? I don't believe any girl will skip meals or eat only carb-free foods just to please herself. There has to be a reason.

Yet, surprisingly, when it comes to reproduction, these same males conjure up a picture of a voluptuous, meaty and curvy gal. Think Pam Anderson.

You guys make me confused too. What do you want, a clothing rack or Carmen Electra? Should I lose weight or get a boob job? You tell me. Do you realise when a girl's kilos drop off, so does her bra size? Pam's are surgically induced.

One of my girl friends, Yui, was a little chubby, but had a great personality - outgoing, friendly and considerate. The guys she had a crush on would have told her that she was too fat for them. Some would have said she wasn't attractive. She didn't have a boyfriend during her entire four years in college.

After graduation, Yui went on a weight management programme and shed more than 20 kilos. She is now skinny, and never has trouble finding dates. Those guys who turned her down back in college now won't leave her alone. She's still the same person, just lighter.

What if a girl is born big-boned? Is she destined to be alone? Should she get liposuction if she carries cellulite on her thighs? Should a girl starve herself so that she can be slim enough to fit into skimpy clothes and get a date with a dumb guy?

Any guy who thinks the answer is yes is pathetic.

In the past, I felt big, even though I met some nice men who accepted me as I was.

When I moved to the US for my post-graduate study, things changed. I realised I fit into a size 8 and the shirt I wear is a medium. Many people here have complimented me on my voluptuous figure, and do not understand why I am so worried about shedding weight. They say I would be stupid if I try to minimise the size of my behind.

The ways guys look at me here has boosted my confidence. These people embrace meaty girls and look down on anorexic ones. The reason? Almost every guy I meet says the same thing. They prefer a girl who has some meat on her that they can hug without feeling like they're holding on to a pole.

The last time I checked, my size of jeans was not even sold at Siam Square.

Now that I think about it, I'm not so sure Thai guys are confused. Maybe it's just that they can't handle meaty girls.

After all, I guess, they are way too small to handle meat. When I say small, I mean everything, from head to toe.

Aw shucks, now I've started feeling bad for you guys.

By Pondering

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