Most of us have been completely bewildered at times when trying to figure out just what can and cannot be shown on Thai television, movies and in magazines.

One movie which has created a lot of controversy recently is the award-winning "Syndromes and a Century", which had four scenes cut, including one of a funky modern-age monk strumming his guitar like Eric Clapton and another flying a toy UFO. According to the all-wise golden-oldie censor crew, monks ought only to be portrayed in a positive light. Well how come sordid stories accompanied by sensational photographs of monks getting caught smooching lady disciples, watching dirty movies, drinking alcohol and knocking off drugs make headline news in the Thai press? Other folk to be held only in high esteem and not to be portrayed in any negative way are doctors; scenes censored in "Syndromes of a Century" were of male ones chugging whiskey, kissing and getting an erection in public. But I can perfectly recall a movie from of the past based on the true-life story of a doctor killing his wife! Does this mean that a doctor killing his wives is socially acceptable but drinking whiskey and getting randy is not?

In comparison, the censors over the years have never bothered to complain much about on-screen violence.

Let's have a look at the typical weekend routine of "Bank", a TV watcher in the fourth grade. After taking his morning shower he can tune into some nasty action thriller at 9am. After lunch and a quick nap, he can sit back and enjoy a good old-fashioned horror movie. Even though the special effects may be completely corny in the eyes of a sane adult, Bank will be on the edge of his seat, half-petrified. Next, after dinner and a game of ping-pong on the veranda, he can be awed at some of the violent scenes in Thai soap operas. So, a monk playing with a toy UFO is not allowed to be shown to Bank but he can be stunned at the sizzling scenes of a drunkard father beating his teenage daughter with his leather belt, or a delinquent divorcee shoving a gun into her ex-lover's head. Does that mean that a man beating up his wife and daughter is socially acceptable but for two doctors to kiss is not?

According to the censors, drinking and smoking are dreadful and depictions of them ought never to be screened in public, yet showing real dead bodies is perfectly fine. Pick up a copy of a Thai newspaper and there is often a dead body stuck on the front page with gory headlines along the lines of "Two-year-old mutilated by junkie mother", or "Gay heartbroken farang jumps from 23rd floor in Pattaya". The censors have done their homework, just a little though, and the dead body is slightly blurred out.

The same scenario goes on in TV news too. Reports of murders or suicides are at times accompanied by the cameraman zooming in on the battered corpse. Again, the picture is slightly faded-out. But even a four-year-old knows what it is all about, a technique that is about as effective as the blurring out of scenes of gangsters puffing away on huge cigars in some Hong Kong movie. Other times however, they don't bother censoring any images of corpses at all, as it's just too much hassle, especially when there are just too many dead bodies, like after a horrific bus crash. News of the tsunami was by far the worst I have ever seen in Thailand; live reports with bodies hanging from trees and dangling from roofs used as background. Does that mean therefore that showing dead bodies to youngsters is socially acceptable but images of smoking somehow is not?

Thailand is not exactly famed for its smart criminals, who after robbing a bank decide to flee...home instead of into the jungle. But even a criminal like this, the dumbest of the lot, can get plenty of ideas for future escapades by reading a copy of his local newspaper. He might simply pick it up and be thrilled to see sensational headlines along the lines of "Home of superstar actress burgled". Next, while reading the inside story, he is delighted by the meticulousness of the journalism: "The house of Mrs Somtum, located at 34/75 Soi Namprik, Bang Pa Prat Road, was full of valuables at the time including a set of very rare Burmese rubies, diamond necklaces and antique gold cutlery. Fortunately however, the burglar could not find them".

The reality in Thailand is that once you are arrested you are guilty until proven innocent and the Thai press enjoys nothing more than releasing all of the suspect's personal data. Besides every address they can muster up, they also print his mother's name, brother's girlfriend's name, auntie's name, employer's name and even his dog's name. The same goes for female Grade-7 students who have been the victims of their child-molesting maths teacher. Even though the name of the victim's school is not allowed to be mentioned, they can write "The pretty 12-year-old attends a very well known all girls' school in Dishy district, Nonthaburi province, located just 200 metres north of the boat pier".

According to the censors, drinking is an awful sin and ought not to be promoted in any way. On the other hand, let us take a look at gambling. Have a stroll around your neighbourhood on any Saturday evening and you will be able to witness scores of male adults studying very closely the latest edition of some football magazine. If you thought they were admiring some photo of Ronaldo or Rooney then you are wrong, they are indeed studying the latest betting scores for the Man U-Chelsea match. And every publication is full of up-to-date odds! Does that mean that promoting illegal gambling is socially acceptable but alcohol is not?

TV censors have successfully kept randy men from enjoying the sight of women in skimpy bikinis from appearing onscreen. Never mind though, they can simply purchase any soccer, gossip or fun club magazine and they will find it full of adverts for virtually pornographic mobile wallpapers of naughty looking women. Perhaps the censors with their failing eyesight haven't noticed that along with these, which can easily be downloaded, there are clips that would have them hitting the panic button if even a minute of it aired on TV.

Media censorship is full of inconsistencies and double standards. Concerned authorities ought to seriously sit down and consider that most of the adult population does not like to be treated like children. If they wish to continue with their censoring efforts, then it is advised that they get out a pen and paper and write up some respectable standards.

Stephen Cleary

Suphan Buri

Stephen Cleary is the co-founder of www.thai-blogs.com