There is no sitting on the fence when considering one of the world's most elitist sports. Or should I call it a leisure activity? Nanthadej Hiranyasthiti, initiator of Bumrungrad International Hospital's Doctor Golf clinic, chuckles: "I have never seen a neutral golf person. You either love it or hate it."

There is an element of truth in that generalisation. Everyone seems to have an opinion about the sport, despite the fact that not everyone plays it. For me, a non-golfer, the very word "golf" carries with it a huge bag of cultural-economic and socio-political connotations - both good and bad. For ignoramuses, me included, the sport is synonymous with a bunch of pot-bellied businessmen - yes, it is the gentlemen's game of choice, despite Michelle Wie - walking about under intense heat in artificial landscapes, trying to hit balls into small holes.

Type "golf" and "jokes" into any search engine, and amuse yourself with millions of golf jokes - some of them rather too risque for the game's upper-crust audience. But for a non-golfer, the jokes can be more cryptic than crude. Take this one for instance: "The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you."

Or take this one from the specialist Dailygolfjokes.com: "During a weekly Lamaze [preparation for childbirth] class, the instructor emphasised the importance of exercise, hinting strongly that husbands needed to get out and start walking with their wives. From the back of the room one expectant father inquired, 'Would it be okay if she carries a bag of golf clubs while she walks?"

Some of the jokes are obvious, but some might as well be written in Egyptian hieroglyphs.

"To be a Doctor Golf, you need to speak the same language as the golfers. All of the specialists on our team play golf on a regular basis," Nanthadej says of Doctor Golf's team of three rehabilitative doctors, four physiologists, a nutritionist and a cardiologist. There are also 30 other speciality centres within Bumrungrad that can cater to any other medical need that arises. "In the future, we might even have a sports psychologist, since it plays a vital part in improving a player's performance."

Doctor Golf is currently just one room within the hospital's orthopaedics department, the clinic customises packages according to each golfer's needs. For instance, a nutritionist can improve a player's game with a properly devised nutrition plan. Or a physiotherapist may help players develop the power of their swing through strength-building exercises.

Nanthadej acts as the main consultant and coordinates the various treatments. He believes that Bumrungrad, which offers one of Thailand's most comprehensive medical services, has the capacity to cater to every idiosyncratic need.

If all of these sound too much of an exclusive professional treatment, Nanthadej believes it is precisely the kind of treatment that golfers need - at all levels, genders and ages. The clinic aims to steer players away from injuries and, thereby, augment their performance.

A spinal expert, Nanthadej has treated quite a few golfers suffering from back pain, a common symptom among professional players. He explains that that this is often the result of too many putts and bunker shots. When their ball is trapped in sand or bushes, golfers tend to exert too much force in chipping it out. Not only can this damage the spine, but it can also lead to a condition called "golf elbow", similar to "tennis elbow". Both are caused by overusing forearm muscles and tendons, resulting in inflammation and pain around the elbow joints.

Beginners should also be extra-cautious not to take the well-known sporting motto "no pain, no gain" too seriously. Nanthadej says many amateurs often hurt themselves by "abnormal" use of force. For instance, the wrong swing may damage one's chest muscles and ribs. Finger pain is not uncommon either.

Nanthadej blames a lack of proper training and coaching for unnecessary injuries. He says many golfers pick up tips and techniques here and there, often at the driving range, from well-wishing fellow golfers. "But most of the advice is not really good."

He urges thrifty golfers to spend some money on proper golf lessons, lest they want to see much larger medical bills. A tip is to find a professional trainer who is the same height, "So your swings and postures won't be too different." A different posture will give a different tempo.

Parents, too, must not push their children too far - no weightlifting, for instance, for small children. Nanthadej tells a grisly tale of a 20-something Korean who has a severe back problem commonly found only in the elderly. Doctors discovered that the young man was doing too much heavy-duty exercising as a child, under the encouragement of a zealous, albeit well-intentioned, father. "For parents to train their children, passion must come first. Try not to force them."

Nanthadej's passion for golf started at an early age. His father, a businessman, often took the young Nanthadej with him to driving ranges and courses. Although he played golf throughout his secondary school and university years, the doctor did not pick the sport up seriously until he started working.

"Golf is an addiction," says the member of the Board of Orthopaedic Surgery. "It's such a sensation, hitting the ball right. But the chance of hitting it right is only one in a hundred. For me, golf is a quest to find that very special sensation."

A social sport, golf is also very good at unravelling players' true selves. "There are no referees on the golf course. It is a gentleman's game," Nanthadej explains. "So if a player is a cheat, then that will surely surface on the course. For example, a ball might land somewhere quite far off, or it might disappear into a bush. Some people will just drop a new ball on the ground, discreetly or otherwise.

"Some also throw tantrums after hitting a few bad shots."

But Nanthadej has never taken it personally. In fact, during his three-year postgraduate studies in Chicago, he claims to have brought in about a hundred tourists to Thailand - by pitching the country's virtues to them on one of Windy City's many public golf courses. Some of them later sent Nanthadej photographs taken on their trips to Thailand.

"There is this golf course near the hospital where I worked. I could play nine holes and make it back in time for work. On that course, I made quite a few new friends by playing golf with them," he recalls.

Despite his busy schedule, Nanthadej manages to find enough time for regular rounds of golf. Befriend him with a game at his favourite haunt at Lam Luk Ka, Pathum Thani. But leave your temper at home, because Doctor Golf is good. For the record, he declined to reveal his handicap lest he sounded boastful.

Ki Nan Tsui

The Nation