One figure that was briefly mentioned before quickly vanishing under the radar was the "commission" paid to the travel agent for organising General Saprang Kalayanamitr's week-long airport-security research trip to Europe. A princely Bt500,000. For 12 people? That's Bt41,000 each. They could have all flown economy return on the agent's fee alone. Then we had the wife of "Dr Ephedrine" suing his long-time "friend" for 200 gazillion baht for "adultery" - as though he had nothing to do with it. Last time I looked, adultery involved two people. And shouldn't she being suing her husband for allowing the affair to develop in the first place? Apparently not, seeing he was out of his tree at the time. I was informed, with a worldly shrug, that when it comes to adultery in Thailand, it's "always the female's fault". I have so much to learn. Indeed, I learnt a new word this week: "opsimath" - one who learns only late in life.

"Everyone is completely innocent," hooted Thaksin's lawyer for the 119th time in as many days but might have added, and somewhat sheepishly: "However, we've taken Bt545 million out of petty cash just in case we do have to pay the tax," as he whistled "Stand By Your Clan" on the way to his limo.

Then we had the BMA saying they didn't have enough money for any new environment-friendly buses. What a bunch of miserablists. If they had been around when scientists announced they had found a cure for malaria, they'd have said: "Oh terrific, and who's going to have to fork out for that? Me, I suppose."

It was also reported that the vast majority of farmers' debts were caused by "unplanned investments" - a wonderful expression - followed by a fellow over at the Finance Ministry who announced: "It's not unusual for a civil servant to file charges against himself." Oh, really? It's the most unusual thing I've ever heard in my life. And almost the most amusing.

If only corruption were a renewable energy source. You'd be able to see Bangkok, Lagos and Moscow from Jupiter.

***

The relationship between political leaders and the public is, for the most part, one of mutual bewilderment. The public can't understand why they are being ripped off, and the politicians can't imagine why they are being investigated.

Thaksin Shinawatra continues to tell anyone who will listen that he wants nothing more than unity and reconciliation in Thailand. Not once has he ever said: "Hmm ... well, you know, in retrospect I might have caused a spot of bother." He's like an electrician who says: "Oh, wow. I appear to have blown up your house. I'll tell you the only person who can sort that out - me."

Right now, the interim government seems to be held together by paint, gesture and goodwill. They are jittery, too. Any minute you can imagine the Committee for National Security going: "Okay, that's it. We're going to bust the Thai Rak Thai for holding a jumble sale in Yasothon."

Perhaps politicians need to go into detox. Those who have lost their way could be directed to one of those cleaning stations on a coral reef you see on Discovery Channel, where all the nits and bugs of corruption could be chewed off by schools of righteous angelfish.

But we are in waters we do not know and in which accurate soundings we cannot take. Politics reminds us that oceanographic measurement also used to be an inexact science until quite recently: on one research vessel after World War II, the "fathometer" registered a bottomless abyss whenever someone opened the fridge door.

***

A nation, as the philosopher Renan said, is bound not by the real past but by the stories it tells itself, by what it chooses to remember and what it deems necessary to forget. Russia, like China, has chosen forgetfulness. That, said the writer Shalamor, was how they survived. Neither of those nations were built on truth. So where does that leave Thailand? While our intellectuals stay silent then tap their pencils and announce on just about any topic: "Well, it's all right in practice, but does it work in theory?", we might take a hint from Queen Victoria, who thought the French "incurable as a nation though so charming as individuals".

Like the old proverb says: will Thailand, like Brazil, always be a country of the future?

***

In Poland it is illegal to publicly insult foreign heads of state visiting the country. So if you shout "Hey, Mugabe! You senile, murderous little rat fink" as his motorcade passes on its way to the best hotel in town, you're in trouble.

***

Bangladesh could hardly be described as beacon for democracy by any stretch of the imagination, but the results of their recent military putsch have been very revealing and, again, perhaps very instructive to our own powers that be. In essence, the rich and shameless that make up the Bangladeshi elite have been jettisoning luxury goods and everything of value in the hope of evading a crackdown by the new military junta. This also includes their "pets". According to a journalist from the London Times, the latest discoveries include three hummers abandoned by the roadside in Dhaka and six rare deer left in a disused iron factory. Police also found a further 89 deer, 21 pheasants, nine peacocks, two emus, a cheetah, a crocodile and a black bear "wandering about" outside the walls of the most expensive houses in the country. They (the animals, not the owners) have since been taken to a safari park after what one official described as the "largest recovery of wildlife since independence". One can only wonder what we'd find wandering the sois if a similar crackdown happened here. I can. Easily. But there just isn't enough room here.

In a similar vein, a headline on the BBC read: "Lost whale attacks boat in Japan".

I bet Greenpeace have already framed that.

***

The mullahs and rulers of Iran make great efforts to control what their citizens know of the world outside - and how it perceives them. The UK's Private Eye magazine ran a piece that reckons it's a "clumsy policy" that generates its own humour. They ask an American, an Ethiopian and an Iranian to share their opinions on meat rationing. The Ethiopian responds: "What is meat?"; the American says: "What is rationing?"; the Iranian asks: "What is an opinion?"

Compiled by Roger Beaumont