US President: You look pretty messed up.

Singaporean PM: Tell me about it. Those arrogant Thai junta hotheads. They came at me with everything they had.

US President: You should have known better, frankly speaking. After that deal with the Shinawatras, which exacerbated a crisis in their country - not to mention the fact that Ample Rich is based on your soil - you can't expect a 'thank you' note from the Thai leaders after you allowed their biggest enemy to launch diplomatic salvoes from your territory. Learn from the Chinese - they are smart when it comes to this kind of thing.

Singaporean PM: The man wanted to talk. What else could we have done? And didn't he do well to promote democracy and free trade? I was almost in tears myself.

US President: Yeah, I got a lump in my throat too. Half of Japan must be crying by now. He seemed to have a new series of interviews lined up in that country. If Aung San Suu Kyi had got the same kind of exposure a few years back, Burma would be a free country right now.

Singaporean PM: The guy was spot-on regarding capitalism. He deserved your help for defending the philosophy. Even The Wall Street Journal was full of praise.

US President: If I remember correctly, the same paper had criticised him earlier for blocking foreign competition in the telecom sector. Oh well, bygones should be bygones. And surely you can't call him a protectionist after his virtual sell-off of Thai telecom properties to Singapore.

Singaporean PM: You seemed to be on the verge of getting a sweet Free Trade Agreement as well. Good old Thaksin. No wonder most of the free-trade world is weeping.

US President: What a generous guy. In fact, the Temasek deal can encourage more international trade because the Thai military may need a new satellite to ensure security-related signals are not intercepted.

Singaporean PM: That's one crazy expert's opinion. But even if that's true, it will only be good for the world satellite market.

US President: Yes. It's all about the money, mind you. Apart from us big economic powers, I haven't seen too many Third World countries coming out against the Thai coup. What worries me, though, is things will get more complicated after the junta completes the corruption probe against our man.

Singaporean PM: He assures us they have no case. He says they haven't found any evidence.

US President: Well, we didn't have much evidence going into Iraq either. And we hanged Saddam!

Singaporean PM: What are you saying?

US President: We made accusations, groundless or not, bombed Baghdad and overthrew a government against the will of much of the world. Sounds a bit like the Thai coup, don't you think?

Singaporean PM: If you take away gutted buildings and casualties, that is. Yes, I know what you mean. It's getting awkward to criticise the coup, right? And, of course, what if he seeks asylum? What if he sneaks in and lobbies your Congress? What if the Thais demand extradition? Nightmare scenarios.

US President: Exactly. I heard that our pal Tony Blair needs an injection to get some sleep every night. As much as I pity your man, I would rather see our democratic hero head Tony's way than here.

Singaporean PM: I guess the British should be more worried. But with the lobbyists he's hiring, you'll never know. Japan has handled it well so far, but, as you said, hats off to our friends in Beijing, who are real specialists when it comes to this kind of situation.

US President: Don't under-estimate the "Curse", though. You will be surprised to know that the majority of anti-coup comments posted on the website of the Thai newspaper The Nation come from China and Hong Kong.

Singaporean PM: Now, that's interesting. But in this era having so many ardent lovers of democracy in China is not that strange.

US President: Not if they use different IP addresses. Our intelligence has found that many "posters" to that newspaper's website were using the same computers in China and Hong Kong. For example, 10 comments lambasting columnist Sopon Onkgara this week alone originated from one computer in China but were written under different names.

Singaporean PM: Are you suggesting there are "hired guns" posting pro-Thaksin comments from overseas? So much for "Enough is enough", then.

US President: All I'm saying is you have to get used to the use of "nominees" when dealing with the Thais. Oh well, look whom I'm trying to teach.

Editor's note: Although this conversation is fictional, the parts concerning the IP addresses of visitors posting comments on our website are factual.

Tulsathit Taptim