I like to think that these friendships, as well as my knowledge of the language, have made me familiar with Thai culture.

Here's the thing. I rent a flat. It's very small, since my company doesn't cover the rent, and I must rely on my salary, which is on the low side.

Just recently, my landlord told me that he would not renew my rental contract. He plans to pull down the building and put up some expensive condos.

I'm really troubled about moving. I live in an upmarket area, and even though my flat is nothing to brag about, I'm close to shops and public transportation. I've looked all over for a place close to where I live now, but no luck. Most flats are far beyond my price range. Others are disaster areas that no one in their right mind would rent.

One of my Thai friends (call her "Tu") has a sister who spends her free time buying old condos and townhouses and fixing them up. Then she sells them. I guess the family is so well off that Tu's sister doesn't need to hold down a job. I asked Tu to ask her sister if she had a place that I could rent from her. I know from Tu that her sister is currently working on a condo she bought just down the soi from my flat.

Tu says she asked her sister, and her sister said that she would think about it. That was some time ago, but so far, no answer. Tu knows that I have to move out of my flat in two months.

I don't understand why Tu isn't pushing her sister to help me. If Tu is such a good friend, her sister would help me, wouldn't she? That's Thai culture, isn't it?

Besides, Tu should help me, just because it's such a bad time for me and she's my friend.

What do you think, Khun Melanee? Have I misunderstood the meaning of friendship in this country?

Vi

Dear Khun Vi,

My dear, you imply that since Tu's family is apparently rich, the sister should let you have the condo for a much lower amount of money than what she would get from another buyer. You're basically asking Tu's sister to take a loss on her project simply because Tu is your friend.

I suppose, if she had a place that she didn't intend to sell just yet, she would let you rent it, but you want the condo that she will most likely sell easily.

May I suggest that you revise your requirements for a new place and start searching elsewhere? As far as I can see, Tu's sister has already made her decision.

Sometimes, no answer is enough of an answer.

Dear Khun Melanee,

May I comment on that letter from "Always Regretful"? He thought his employee's family was holding her back from "reaching her full potential".

What a self-involved man - as if work is the only reason for living!

The girl evidently wanted a family. After all, she got married a few months after she resigned from his company. She must have realised that he would not have allowed her any life outside his company.

If she's so talented, she could always jump back into business when she's ready. She can't jump into a family the same way.

Sam

Dear Khun Sam,

I have known talented women who made the choice of family over work. I have also known talented women who chose work instead. In this day and age, however, it should be possible for the woman to make her own choice.

Dear Khun Melanee,

With regards to those observations from "Always Regretful": he acts as if his former employee has been lost to society because she chose not to work for him. Did her life actually end the day she left his company?

What an idiot! No one knows when or how a person will reach his or her potential.

PM

Dear PM,

Please give the man the benefit of the doubt. He felt bad that his former employee was allowed no choice, that her family made her decisions for her.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax her at

(02) 751 4446, or e-mail melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra