Local censors have cut up "Crank" so much that it's almost impossible to watch. Such is the sad state of political correctness in the Kingdom today.

While "Crank" contains some provocative scenes, they are meant to be comical. Nothing is pornographic. The sad truth is that the authorities concerned can't tell the difference between the two, and hence the frustration among paying moviegoers who have to stomach their sheer incompetence.

Earlier this year, to appease the lunatic fringe, censors offered to cut the last 15 minutes of "The Da Vinci Code". The madness was only prevented when a salvo of outraged and angry filmgoers berated the concerned authorities to show some self-respect and use their sensitivity and intelligence.

Perhaps that was asking too much, but since the coup, the one thing that badly needs getting rid of is the puritanical types that waded in with the deposed government.

In "Crank", which is a cheeky take on action films like "Snatch" and the Tarantino movies "Desperado" and "Kill Bill", the whole idea is to spoof and thrill.

The film's hero, Jason Statham, is injected with a deadly serum. To prevent the poison from doing its work, he has to keep his adrenaline pumped up.

Director-writer Brian Taylor and co-director Mark Neveldine have a field day creating sequences in which Statham, as the desperate assassin in a race against time, does everything to stall death.

He does things that normally he'd never do: gulping down all kinds of illegal drugs, attacking policemen and hospital staff and doing the nasty with his girlfriend in a public place.

This last scene, where he's fully clothed, is actually quite hilarious, yet it's been cut from the Thai release. It seems a few dolts didn't catch the joke.

The line between naughty and dirty is thin, but it is there.

In "Crank", it's clear, at least to Hanuman, that the filmmakers aren't your dirty-minded money grubbers, but brave chaps who don't mind pushing the envelope in an interesting way.

The movie forces us to ask ourselves how we're expected to behave if put under incredible stress for a long time. Where do etiquette and patience come in?

The cast isn't bad, with Amy Smart as Statham's semi-dumb-blonde girlfriend and Dwight Yoakam as his personal physician.

Catch the movie on DVD if you want to beat the censors.

It's evident today, however, that you can seriously consider cutting your cable service.

This month UBC dropped the MTV and VH1 music channels rather abruptly. Is this what we can expect from operators of farm goods when they run telecommunications and entertainment businesses? God save us all.

It's amazing how casually local cable operators can conduct their affairs, showing so little consideration for paying customers.

Is this the final insult, or can you take more pain?

By Hanuman