I'd decided to test my theory that, after four years spent with my head buried in books, I'd become an obsolete model in a mechanical world of dating. The occasion was a dinner with a random bunch of friendly British undergraduates.

Apparently, even in relatively conservative Thailand, the world of dating has evolved rapidly and taking time to court a lady has been exchanged for a series of drink-induced one-night stands.

So, how does dating work nowadays in Britain?

"Well, it starts with a drunken night at the student union and the guy pulls," one of the girls explained. The concept of "pulling" is widely established in university life here and involves lots of alcohol, a giggling girl, a half-funny guy high on Dutch courage, and finding the right time to go in for the snog.

I was quite convinced that I'd been rendered obsolete by the modern world of dating already, until one of the girls spoke up. "The girl would have to be really drunk or really easy though," she said, as others nodded in agreement. "So, don't all girls allow themselves to get 'pulled' then?" I asked.

They shook their heads in unison, making me worry that I might have walked into a roomful of Britain's last virgins. So, I thought it would be best if I shared my experience. "Back in my days, kissing a girl less than three months into a relationship would have constituted some kind of a record," I told them.

"Aww!!" they all cried out together, clutching their chests and gazing at me dreamily.

"Men don't do that anymore here. I'd like to be wined and dined," one of them said sadly.

The reality was that I hadn't walked into a roomful of Britain's last virgins at all, but into a roomful of women who'd had to harden themselves to the new dating rules.

The majority of women today no longer expect romance before giving themselves up, but this doesn't mean that they've relinquished hope altogether. They still believe in old-fashioned "making love", but are forced to make do with what's currently on offer.

And just what that is is quite disturbing.

"Wined and dined? Won't they settle for a beer and a cheeseburger?" retorted a bloke when I recounted my story.

Elsewhere, it's even more worrying.

"I need to fill my needs. I never sleep with a woman more than once or it'll start getting serious," said another guy.

If Bangkok is anywhere close to this (and from the first-hand stories I've been hearing we're getting pretty near), we really need to feel sorry for girls.

But, more importantly, apart from sympathising with modern women, the unreconstructed men among us have to wake up and realise that there's actually space for an obsolete dating machine.

I could tell that some of the British girls I'd talked to, no matter how conservative they sounded, had actually been "pulled" at one time or other. Even then, they seemed to be holding out for a knight in shining armour to sweep them off their feet.

And women aren't just easy when they're intoxicated. Even though I told the busty blondes sitting across from me that I was off the market, their dreamy gaze was sufficient proof that women can get just as drunk on the merest whiff of romance.

By Ultimate Oink

Comments on this column can be sent to relations@nationgroup.com.