Now we have a range of short skirts, just like the mini-skirts my mother used to wear when she was young. These are very popular. We sell a lot of those.

We know we are very successful because other shops in the mall have started copying us.

One day a young girl came in to buy one of our skirts. She chose one that was very short and tight. It was also a "hip-hugger", so she could show off her tummy if she wanted to.

The problem was that this girl was very fat. Her legs and tummy were quite large, and they shook when she walked. I really didn't want to sell her that skirt. I tried to tell her that such a skirt didn't suit her.

She looked very bad in it. When she put it on, her thighs looked very large and unattractive, and her tummy hung over the belt.

Instead of thanking me for my concern, the girl didn't accept my advice. She left the shop angrily. Then, about an hour later, she came to the doorway and called to me. She had bought a similar skirt in another shop and was wearing it. She wanted to show me that she could buy whatever she wanted.

Now my partners are upset with me.

They say it doesn't matter what the girl looked like in our skirt. We lost money because I wouldn't let the girl buy it. I say that we should care about our customers. If they don't look right, we should tell them.

Besides, a customer who looks unattractive wearing our brand will discourage potential customers from buying our clothes.

Khun Melanee, what do you think? Do you agree with me?

Bu

Dear Khun Bu,

How often have I wished for an honest salesperson when I was buying clothes! I don't want her to tell me how beautiful I look in the dress that I'm trying on if I really look bad in it, or the colour doesn't suit me, or whatever. I also wish for salespeople who actually know the product they're selling, so that when I ask questions, I'll get an honest answer.

You seldom get what you want in this world, and when you do, you may not be happy. I wonder how you told the girl that the skirt didn't suit her.

Did you say, "You are too fat to wear our clothes" or some other truthful but unkind comment? If so, you should try to put yourself in her place. How would you feel if a stranger made unflattering remarks about your physical appearance - and then told you that you were too ugly to wear the clothes in your shop?

Teenagers are sensitive about their personal appearance even when they're physically perfect. You just tore this poor girl apart.

You could have proposed alternatives, so that the kid could have seen what she looked like in a slightly longer and looser skirt. Then she could have made up her own mind what she wanted to buy, without a salesperson judging her.

So I disagree with you - and with your partners too. To my mind, it's not the challenge of making a sale or not. It's the challenge of helping a customer feel comfortable about the choice she's making.

Dear Khun Melanee,

"Jiew" says that she was so lonely when she went to study abroad last year that she slept with someone. I understand. People can be very depressed in a strange place. I don't understand why she would consider telling her fiancé what she did! How stupid can someone be?

Doesn't she realise that while she's been studying abroad, he's probably been sleeping with other people too? Men are like that. They say they need a "release", but I think they're just looking for an excuse for sex.

Before she tells her fiancé everything, she should understand that he will blame her forever, even though he's been doing the same thing.

Pattie

Dear Khun Pattie,

Since neither you nor I know what Jiew's fiancé has been doing while she's been away, we can't make any assumptions on this part of the problem.

I do think, however, that she needs to think more carefully about her relationship with him before she decides whether or not to tell him what she did.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Fax (02) 751 4446, or e-mail her at: melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra