- No bids for bad fish

A rare stingray fossil in Edinburgh, Scotland, failed to get any bids when it went up for auction this week.

Owner Dale Rogers believes the lack of interest is due in part to the recent death of TV adventurer Steve Irwin, who was killed by a stingray. The fossil was valued at US$18,800 (Bt704,000).

- Skippy packs a punch

It was man versus beast during a kangaroo-human boxing match in Shanghai, China. The event was part of the "Animal Olympics" which also featured bear fighting and mountain goat hurdle races.

No word on who - or what - won the match.

- Make us proud, son!

A teenager in Dandong, China, says he robbed a driver to impress his parents. The 17-year-old boy told his victim where he was from and his father's name - making it easy for police to track him down.

He told them he wanted to do something "great" to impress his folks.

- Human hoover sucks his last

 A man in Pontyclun, Wales, is dead after he ate a paper towel, a screw, a magnet and some pocket change.

Doctors say 61-year-old Dewi Evans suffered from "pica", a disease that caused him to have cravings for non-edible foods.

- Mouthwash bender

A man is in custody in Tri-Cities, Washington, after chugging a bottle of Listerine and attacking a homeless man.

When police got to Louis Ferguson's home, he was asleep. Still, once he woke up, he attempted to drink more Listerine before the cops took him to the slammer.

- Boozer slips the noose

A drunk driver in Middlesbrough, England, cut off his tracking device, left it with his dog and went out for the night.

Shaun Cliff admits he came up with the idea while high on painkillers and booze and says he doesn't mind going to prison if it "draws attention to the system and how flawed it is".

- That's fine with me!

A judge in Russellville, Arkansas, has agreed to raise a man's bond from $30,000 to $50,000 after the defendant himself said the original bond was too low.

Cedric Criswell, who stole his mother's car and checkbook, pointed out to the confused judge, "I stole from my mother - I don't think the bond's high enough."

- Burning jealousy fizzles out

Two women in Bithlo, Florida, were able to escape a jealous boyfriend after he got distracted trying to get a cigarette lighter to work.

William Sheridan allegedly sprayed his ex-girlfriend's mobile home and roommate with gasoline and was going to set them on fire but couldn't get the lighter to spark.

- Grizzly tribute to the croc hunter

A reptile keeper in Queensland, Australia, will feed the placenta of his newborn baby to a Goanna lizard as a tribute to Steve Irwin.

Wil Kemp got the idea after nurses told him and his wife that it wasn't uncommon for couples to bury the placenta or even eat it - so they figured they would feed it to their three pet lizards in honour of the zookeeper.

- A dumping service

There's now an agency in Berlin that helps people who are too chicken to break up with their significant others on their own.

For around $60, Bernd Dressler will deliver the heartbreaking news in either a "sympathetic or direct matter" and list three reasons why the other person wants to terminate the romance.

- In the beginning was the text

Cell-phone users now have no excuse for not reading the Bible. An organisation called the Bible Society of South Africa has teamed with a company called ChristianMobile to release a version of the Good Book that can be downloaded to mobile phones.

No word on whether any of the scripture is translated into text messaging terms.

- Toothsome reflections

Considering the joke about how bad British teeth look, it's amazing how vain the women are.

According to a survey by the Daily Mirror newspaper, the average British woman spends two years of her life looking at the mirror.

- sometimes, you need a second opinion

Condolence notes are always appreciated - but only if someone actually dies. But that wasn't the case in Edinburgh where a woman recovering from major surgery discovered a letter from her doctor telling her she had died.

Julia Warnes tried to be philosophical about the note, saying, "I thought 'Am I?' Well, you'd think the doctor would have told me."