In the end it was left to Phuket Provincial Police Commander Maj-General Decha Budnampetch to neatly sum up the proceedings. In his view, the coup amounted to "little more than an administrative overhaul at the national level". Nicely put.

For some, the week's coup lacked sufficient drama. "It's almost not exciting enough," said tourist Conor Bracken. It's true. There were no Idi Amin moments, no Imelda Marcos bulging shoe closets. We were even denied the fantasy of waking up on Wednesday to find Thaksin pegged out like Gulliver in Lumpini park, being prodded by thousands of little people in yellow shirts. It hardly registered on the coup de Richter scale. It was a coup de lite. "Terribly sorry about all this, but there's really nothing to see here: now move along please." It was smooth, professional, impressive.

But you'd be safe in assuming that behind the scenes there would have been some choice drama as the Thai Rak Thai elite started to "scatter". Desperate phone calls. Mobiles running white hot. "For God's sake, Somchai! The plane leaves in 10 minutes. Where the HELL did you hide the hidden assets?"

And one wonders if Khun Thaksin, after realising his own counter-coup lay in ruins, actually saw reality unravel on CNN or BBC from his five-star hotel in Noo Yawk. Imagine watching your own downfall, live on television. A real dignity-shredding experience. At some point he must have felt as useless as a vegetarian in the Arctic.

***

It was certainly educational. At 1am on Wednesday I doubt if there was a single journalist on the editorial floor of The Nation who wasn't glued to a cell phone or a television. CNN and the Beeb were still running, and, like in '92, for a while we learned as much about what was happening here from what was being shown everywhere else. And the rumours. There were shedloads of them. Pojaman was seen boarding a C130 with dozens of aluminium suitcases; soldiers were looking for a 7-Eleven that was still open; a friend rang to say he'd seen a guy jumping up and down and yelling into his cell phone: "It's the perfect reverse coup!" which sounded like a new diving technique with an 8.5 difficulty rating.

As I write, Kenyan wildlife are throwing a party for 175 of their close friends from the savannah who were once destined for Chiang Mai Safari World. The emcee, naturally, a laughing hyena. Speaking of which, when the guilty have been stripped of their ill-gotten loot, do you think it might be possible to unleash them into the wilds of Safari World? Just for a weekend? It might do wonders for the night tours. "And there, if you look closely, perched high up in the tree to your left, is the former permanent under-secretary for Agricultural Mismanagement. A nocturnal animal with a mean streak, he thrives on nuts, baksheesh and gullible assets."

***

Western leaders have been "concerned", "worried", "alarmed" and "saddened" by the middle-class approval for the coup. Well, they have to say that or it might happen to them. The words "a step backwards" also echoed through the newspapers. I beg to differ. It wasn't a step backwards or a step forwards. It was a step over. And it caught the premiere on the wrong foot. Goal.

***

What next for Dr Thaksin? Perhaps he should follow Russia's new craze and establish a School for Budding Oligarchs where he could offer classes on how to get absolutely stinking rich. And, for another under-the-table fee of Bt5 million, how to do it without getting caught.

***

Notables and quotables:

"It is so popular with inmates, Rowling's next book may well be called Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo Bay." - The Times.

"To escape Europe's fate, we should let more Mexicans into the USA. They are Christians, they love babies, they don't slit your throat when they are mad at you, and they definitely won't self-detonate next to you." - A Houston Catholic blog.

I never knew Benny and Bjorn from Abba were brought together by a guy who fronted a Swedish band called The Mashed Creampuffs.

***

The Vatican has had better weeks, or as The Sun had it: "Pope on the Ropes." And the nuncios must have winced when Mohammed Gadhafi, son of the Libyan leader, said: "If the Pope were really someone reasonable, he would not agree to remain at his post one minute but would convert to Islam immediately."

Then a militant group in Iraq called the Ansar al-Sunnah added: "The day is coming when the armies of Islam will destroy the ramparts of Rome."

Okay, then. Let's have it out. But seeing it's a home game for Rome, the Islamists will have to do as the Romans do. And the Romans prefer one-to-one combat. Live in the Colosseum. Beamed to millions around the world.

In the left hand corner is Mohammed "Gorgeous George" Galloway, described by his agent as "a talented poppy farmer from Wazzuristan" and in the right, Peter Bhun, representing the Vatican, a former watchmaker from Interlaken, and a "dab hand with a Swiss Army knife". Let the game begin.

***

The personal column in the London Review of Books reveals what a sad world many academics inhabit:

Physics professor, 35, incapable of making any point whatsoever, would like to meet woman to 40 for nights of awkward smiles and petering off mid-sentence. Box no 16/05.

I am not as high maintenance as my highly polished and impeccably arranged collection of porcelain cats suggests, but if you touch them I will kill you. F, 36, senior economics lecturer, likes porcelain cats. Seeks man not unused to the sound of sobbing coming from a bedroom from which he is strictly prohibited. Tell me how attractive I am at box no 16/08.

***

Sunday Zen:

In 1318, John of Powderham claimed that he and not the reigning Edward II should be king, saying a nurse had swapped him. He later retracted, saying the devil had inspired him, disguised as a cat. He and the cat were hanged.

Compiled by Roger Beaumont