The second, that there are few people who've never had a romantic thought or experience. And how girls love to talk about both of them!

Recently, romance has become too little of a challenge, so I've begun to use these two facts to my advantage.

Back in my more youthful days, whenever I was interested in a delicate beauty who already had a boyfriend, all I had to do was to get her sitting at a table with me or on the phone. When that part was done, I knew for a fact that the girl was mine.

It's so easy, it feels like cheating. Every single girl in my life has had a bad experience with romantic relationships. To add to this, even the shyest of women will want to talk about it.

Well, if they're there to talk, I'm here to listen.

"He's very unromantic and often ignores me," a girl would tell me. It's as if they still haven't learnt that after years in a relationship, some boredom and a certain comfort-level tends to set in.

It's amazing how, just by nodding along, you can get a beauty to go on and on about her numerous ex's, while you sit back and enjoy the perfection of her numerous curves.

It's always the same complaint about feeling unappreciated, being cheated on, or the relationship turning dull and lifeless.

On the one hand, you really feel like shaking the girl awake and telling her that romance is always flawed. On the other hand... oh goodness, isn't that top she's wearing tight?

Let's go on listening to her "problems" just a little while longer.

Give me a relationship without hitches and I'll give you wings, and you could fly. All relationships are plagued with problems, as those regular readers of this column will already know. It's being successful in dealing with those problems that is the key to the survival of a relationship.

Once you start spilling your guts to a stranger about how bad your love life is, the partnership is as good as over.

Even better than that, from my point of view, is that when I hear about her complaints, I get to know her so much better.

It's always useful to know what the girl thinks about her ex before you start dating her. Her neediness in a previous relationship will usually stem from insecurity that's a result of a lack of appreciation from her family when she was a child.

Those constantly hungry for love as a result of this kind of upbringing are usually the kind who will cheat on you once they get bored, quickly moving on to the next person for their romantic kicks.

There's a middle ground here, reserved for girls whose complaints about past relationships show they've learnt something.

The best type of girl to go for is the one who realises that in her past relationship, both she and her partner were at fault. She will realise that relationships are never perfect, and that a past one may have failed because the problems weren't solved speedily.

She will also know that if her new relationship is to be more successful, she'll have to complain less, and talk more. To her own boyfriend, that is.

By Ultimate Oink

Comments on this column can be sent to relations@nationgroup.com.