I have a friend (let me call her "See-Lee"), and a few weeks ago, someone stole her wallet from her backpack. She noticed the wallet was missing when she reached back for it to pay for her purchases at an upmarket supermarket in Bangkok.

See-Lee insists that she had the wallet just before, when she was buying things in a nearby mall, so it must have been stolen when she was in the supermarket. The supermarket has video cameras all over the place, but when she and the manager checked the tapes, they couldn't see anyone taking her wallet.

The manager admitted that the cameras don't cover every corner, and See-Lee had been to every aisle.

See-Lee doesn't remember if anyone passed behind her while she was shopping. I don't think she could be aware of anything going on behind her anyway - she doesn't realise just how bulky her backpack is. I have seen her clear an entire shelf by knocking all the jars and tins to the floor when she turned around to look at something.

She says she was carrying over Bt50,000 in that wallet when it was stolen. Now she is consulting a lawyer about suing the supermarket, saying that it's the responsibility of the supermarket to protect customers, especially one like her, who spends close to Bt40,000 a week there.

I told her that she shouldn't keep all that money in a backpack, but she insists that it doesn't matter what kind of bag she uses.

Khun Melanee, would you please tell us which one of us is correct? Is the supermarket really responsible?

See-Lee's Friend

Dear SLF,

I suppose, in a perfect world, the supermarket would accept all responsibility for the fact that See-Lee had been pickpocketed and even return her Bt50,000.

The world isn't so perfect, though. See-Lee is being extremely careless by carrying so much money in such a bag. If the bag is so bulky that she doesn't know who or what is behind her, then that bag is not the best receptacle for Bt50,000.

Why should the supermarket be held responsible for See-Lee's carelessness? Such an amount is quite a lot, even for an upmarket supermarket.

The management has done their best. They've even installed video cameras to discourage pickpockets.

In addition, See-Lee has no proof that she was ever carrying Bt50,000, or that she was carrying that particular amount when she entered the premises of the supermarket.

I don't mean that she is exaggerating the amount she lost, but that she could have been pickpocketed on her way to the supermarket.

I confess that I'm a bit surprised that anyone would carry such a large amount of cash around on a regular basis. If See-Lee hasn't heard of credit cards, then stop bickering with her and do her a favour - introduce her to the concept of plastic, which is much safer, as long as she is more careful about where she keeps her valuables.

Melanee!

So "Mac" says that he gave a bargirl some money to fix her teeth out of the goodness of his heart, and he's surprised that his wife is in a jealous frenzy - and you told him that he wasn't being open enough with his wife!

My dear, dear Melanee, what planet are you from? More to the point, what city are you from?

I don't know what kind of men you've met in your life, but let me tell you that no one does anything out of the goodness of his heart. Everyone wants something.

And you, living in Bangkok, should know what men expect for covering a girl's dental bills.

My ex was the same way. He started treating bargirls to new frocks and fancy restaurants and told me it was "out of the goodness of his heart", but I knew better, especially when one of them showed up pregnant.

You should wake up and smell the o-liang. Mac's wife already has.

Sign Me X

Dear X,

I'm sorry for what happened to you, but surely you can't say that everyone in the world is the same.

For me, I really want to believe that Mac acted altruistically, and the girl's lovely smile after her dental work was reward enough.

Problems that Melanee can advise you on? Please fax (02) 751 4446, or email her at: melaneepetra@hotmail.com.

By Melanee Petra