After Kraisak Choonhavan, the outgoing senator, cried wolf at an anti-Thaksin rally last Friday, they immediately smelled blood. They are demanding that the caretaker PM-for-life come forward and reveal the contents of his love letter to US President George W Bush.

Isn't this too much? How can a love letter be considered an act of high treason?

This is the second demand for which the enemies of the caretaker PM-for-life are taking him to task.

Earlier, they pressed their impossible demand that Thaksin reveal the identity of "a person with reserved power beyond the Constitution", who he claimed has been trying to topple his government. Without waiting for Thaksin's clarification, they have jumped to the conclusion that Thaksin has declared war against our revered institution.

On June 29, Thaksin told a group of senior bureaucrats at Government House that a certain person with reserved power beyond the Constitution was behind all the present political turmoil, actively interfering in the country's institutions, and trying to topple his government, which was supported by 16 million people. He wants to generate some excitement in the life of the Thais, who might get bored with the prolonged political vacuum.

Naturally, the caretaker PM-for-life has kept mum over his conspiracy theory. If he were to tell all, the Thais would never know how to exercise their wisdom. Indeed, Thai wisdom is at loss.

For the enemies of the caretaker PM-for-life have claimed that Thaksin is not loyal enough to the revered institution of the monarchy. But can't they see that Thaksin, like his enemies, also wears a yellow shirt all the time (though he also likes to put on a black jacket on top of it)?

Kraisak told a crowd at Lumpini Park that Thaksin had sent a secret letter to Bush to try to win sympathy from the US president over his political predicament. Kraisak did not say whether Thaksin told Bush about the person with reserved power or not. But his revelation of Thaksin's kow-towing to Bush has provided enough ammunition for the Thaksin-bashers to hastily conclude that Thaksin has sold out Thai sovereignty to the US imperialists.

As a Thaksin fan, I have been following his populist policies for more than five years, listening to his endless remarks and reading his numerous speeches, so I really do understand his great wisdom. Since neither the Foreign Ministry nor the caretaker PM-for-life will reveal the contents of the love letter to Bush, I am happy to disclose the letter myself to demonstrate that the matter is not as serious as the Thaksin-bashers would like to believe. Thaksin's love letter to Bush is supposed to follow the following lines:

Dear Mr President:

I am obliged to write you this letter as a good friend. I know I can always count on you, in good times or bad. First of all, let me express my personal apology to you. I am sorry to have said during my first term that the US was a useless friend. I did not know what I was thinking then, but it must have been a slip.

In Thailand, even schoolchildren know that I speak before I think. Besides, my comment was only meant for domestic consumption. Don't take it seriously. Let me repeat that the US has been, is, and will continue to be Thailand's useful friend.

I am a bit disappointed that you did not have time to see me. I would gladly trade everything in my life for an opportunity to have a barbecue with you at your Texas ranch. Time magazine would certainly put our picture on the front cover of their Asia edition. By the way, Putin and Koizumi have been at your Texas ranch - why can't I go there too?

During my European foray, Blair, Chirac and Putin all treated me nicely over a cup of coffee. We talked as if we were old friends. They did not mind letting me slip into their offices almost incognito through the rear gates. They all listened attentively to my report on the political situation and the progress of democracy in Thailand, which I have been championing over the past six years. They gave me their blessings and wished me good luck. They also believed there would not be any leader greater than me in Thailand for a long, long time to come.

As you know, I have just won a snap election. More than 16 million people voted for me. They would like me to become their prime minister-for-life. But somehow I can't get Parliament to open and reappoint me as prime minister. I don't know what is going on with Thai democracy - which Thomas Jefferson would not approve of if he were alive today. I have played by the rules and followed democratic principles every step of the way.

The political mess will continue for some time, but I will not give up until I prevail. I only want your moral support, which would be more than enough to give me a new lease on my political life.

Allow me to say to you frankly that the Thai-US free-trade agreement (FTA) is the cornerstone of my government's foreign policy. Forget the Senate, the stupid NGOs or the other not-so-civic movements, I am ready to sign the FTA with you at any time and at your convenience.

The FTA is no big deal compared with the sale of my Shin Corp. I no longer have to worry about any conflict of interest because I have already realised it in full. Have I made myself clear?

If you would just take a minute of your precious time to drop me a line of support, I would be extremely delighted. My e-mail is Thaksin@Thaiprimeministerforlife.com. In the meantime, keep up the good work and may God bless you.

Yours truly,

PS. Don't forget to vote for Surakiart as the next UN secretary-general. I am a little worried about a rumour that you might be backing Goh Chok Tong instead. If that's true, the Shin Corp deal will be my last with the Singaporeans.

Now the Thaksin-bashers should leave the caretaker prime minister-for-life alone because they won't find any explosive political story in the letter. Thaksin's love letter to Bush is very personal. Thai sovereignty is still intact. And Thai democracy is on a roll.

Thanong Khanthong

 The Nation